Kansas City Chiefs kicker Harrison Butker delivered a controversial commencement speech last Saturday, during Benedictine College’s graduation ceremony in Atchison, Kansas.

 

It sparked swift and furious backlash in news and on social media.

Butker, 28, used his platform and opportunity to gloss over half a dozen hot topics, from the roles of men and women to the LGBTQ+ community to hurtful COVID-19 policies and abortion.

But what caught my attention was Butker’s comments about the role of women, work and motherhood. As a working mom myself, Butker’s comments highlighted an ongoing conflict moms have within themselves and society. It’s not quite as simple as Butker portrays, but it’s not as complicated as it seems.

Butker made a strong statement about women, work and motherhood

“For the ladies present today, congratulations on an amazing accomplishment,” Butker said. “I want to speak directly to you briefly because I think it is you, the women, who have had the most diabolical lies told to you. … Some of you may go on to lead successful careers in the world, but I would venture to guess that the majority of you are most excited about your marriage and the children you will bring into this world.”

Butker also said his wife Isabelle seems to value her “vocation as a wife and as a mother” most and doesn’t regret becoming either.

This seems to have made a lot of people mad. A petition at Change.org has been started, calling on the Kansas City Chiefs to dismiss its kicker due to his “dehumanizing” remarks.

What Butker describes is an orthodox view of the roles of men and women, which holds that women are happiest and most satiated at home, raising children and being a wife.

For a lot of women, this is the case.

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These are also traditional Catholic views, and Butker spoke at Benedictine College, a Catholic private liberal arts school about 50 miles northwest from Kansas City, Missouri, where the Chiefs are headquartered.

For women who want to be homemakers and are married to kind, selfless and humble men who aren’t obsessed with submission as a means of control, this lifestyle could be healthy for dedicated partners. It is certainly good for society for women to have babies, given the declining birth rate.

It’s disheartening to see such a harsh reaction to traditional Catholic views. The extreme petition to “cancel” Butker or have him fired shows incredible ignorance and a lack of tolerance. It’s fine to think that Butker is sexist, wrong or bigoted. But he has the right to hold orthodox views and should not lose his career over it.

It’s exhausting to see a mantra of “diversity, equity and inclusion” in corporations, schools, colleges and organizations around the United States but see that it means only certain views are tolerated, only certain belief systems can be spoken of publicly.

Butker’s views may not seem wise, progressive or healthy to women who want to have robust careers, who’ve suffered abuse in relationships or who simply don’t understand more orthodox views. That’s OK: They don’t have to align with him or choose that path.

He’s passionate about this, so he mentioned it in a speech. For women at a Catholic school’s commencement wondering, in a world where women are breaking glass ceilings, if they can “just” stay at home and be a homemaker like they desire, perhaps they felt a sigh of relief or “permission” to follow their own calling in life. Butker did receive a round of applause after this portion of his speech.

Women might not have to choose as much as Butker thinks

Still, Butker’s remark that all women will wish they chose motherhood over choosing a career is both a false binary and a bit more complicated. Not all women will want to become moms over becoming attorneys, and not all attorneys will be happier as stay-at-home moms or homemakers.

Butker can believe this based on his lived experience with his lovely wife, and that’s OK − many people make life assessments from personal anecdotes.

Butker’s words had quickly been shared across social media and instantly met with backlash – from both women and men – with Chiefs fans showing their disgust.

The petition reads: “The harmful remarks made by Harrison Butker, kicker of the Kansas City Chiefs, during his commencement address at Benedictine College were unacceptable. His comments were sexist, homophobic, anti-trans, anti-abortion and racist.”

It adds: “We demand accountability from our sports figures who should be role models promoting respect for all people regardless of their race, gender identity or sexual orientation. We call upon the Kansas City Chiefs management to dismiss Harrison Butker immediately for his inappropriate conduct.”

One Chiefs fan wrote: “Season ticket holder for six years, this man has to go,” while another wrote: “If he doesn’t think women are worthy enough for a career then he shouldn’t be either.This man does not deserve any kind of platform.”

Former Kansas City commissioner Justice Horn also stated: “Harrison Butker doesn’t represent Kansas City nor has he ever. Kansas City has always been a place that welcomes, affirms, and embraces our LGBTQ+ community members.”

Butker has been Kansas City’s starting kicker for the past seven seasons, making numerous kicks in the playoffs to keep the Chiefs’ Super Bowl hopes alive – on the way to winning their second in as many years.